I will preface this by telling you that this is extremely difficult to write. Difficult beyond words. But I feel compelled to share my story. Why? So that we make good and damned sure that we never allow ourselves to be overrun by “do good” “Christian” conservatives and any of their ilk who would be only too happy to take us back, back to the medical, spiritual and emotional Dark Ages. So that we make good and damned sure that women are never punished for having control over their own, very personal, bodies. No, you “power” hogs do not get to punish us. It is we who should punish you, you who think it is within your God given rights to determine how we pay for our “sins”. Screw you.
I was a 19 year old nursing student during the era of Woodstock, young and dumb about contraception. Hard to believe, right? But true. And, yep, I got pregnant.
I was terrified. Unprepared in every way to care for a child, absolutely no help would have been forthcoming from my parents, no where, I felt, to turn. I had zero knowledge of Planned Parenthood, if it existed then, no one I felt I could turn to for guidance. My then boyfriend and I agonized as I continued to attend classes, sick as a dog. Then, he learned of Dr. Takey Crist at the UNC School of Medicine and his program, Elephants and Butterflies.
I will digress for a moment. I literally had no one to help guide me. I needed my education so that I could graduate and provide for myself. I was so frightened that I could not see straight.
So, somehow my boyfriend prevailed and I was able to see Dr. Crist. At his home. In his bathroom where he examined me with his wife present. This was in 1970.
After he confirmed that I was indeed pregnant he talked to me about options. Mind you, Roe v Wade had not yet happened. Abortion was illegal in NC but not in NY. To me, at that time, it was my only option. So the journey began.
I was booked on a flight from Raleigh-Durham to NYC. Of course a neighbor of my parents in Charlotte was on the flight. I lied about visiting my Grandmother in NJ, praying this would not get back to my folks. As we landed, I was in the rest room experiencing diarrhea, no seat belt for me. I was picked up by a black limo, the driver radioed in that had me in the car, and taken to a clinic in the city. I felt like dirt. Although I was treated very kindly.
I arrived at the clinic, preparation was done, and the procedure performed. Unbelievably enough, I saw two women from the pool my boyfriend life guarded during the summer. I guess we agreed, tacitly, to keep all of this to ourselves.
After a awhile in the Recovery Room, as they were called at the time, I was taken by the same limo back to La Guardia for my flight back to RDU. I arrived at my dorm around midnight having one day to rest before start of classes again on Monday.
It all felt so cloak and dagger. But, Dr. Crist was trying to prevent back alley butcher abortions and so teamed up with the clinic in NY. I have been forever grateful to him even though I believe he has fallen on some misfortune of late.
I never have had children of my own. Not by choice, it has simply worked out that way. I am blessed with awesome stepchildren and grandchildren. I was also blessed with a wonderful career in nursing. And am now retired and 65.
My point in sharing this is that women today don’t have to go to these lengths to make their own medical decisions. Their decisions are now protected by federal law, one which Republicans would like nothing better than to reverse. Those who want that result will be left with the horrid results of desparate women who see no other way. And they don’t care, nor will they provide care for those women when things go horribly wrong.
We cannot allow that to happen. In my 35 years as a registered nurse I strove to be a patient advocate, to be sure my patients understood their rights, and that they knew their nurse was looking out for them. We must all be their nurses and never allow a young woman to feel so very alone, ever again.
Thank you for reading, for your work and advocacy. I’m With Her.