Having read so many diaries by so many folks warning that there could be “triggers” I had never experienced those. I empathized but had never had that happen to me. Until tonight. It wasn’t a diary, it was The Sound of Music movie my Mom was watching.
My paternal grandfather died in September of 1967 when I was sixteen. My family had just moved to Charlotte, NC two months before and school was starting so my folks decided to leave me in charge of my younger brother and get us into our new schools while they went to Connecticut for Grandpa’s funeral. It went fine, I thought. We started school, no problem.
The folks decided we should travel to Connecticut for Thanksgiving and spend it with my Grandmother, newly widowed. So we went. I guess it must have been hard for my Dad since his Dad had just passed two months prior but teenagers aren’t always deep divers into parental emotions.
At any rate, my cousin who is my age was there with my uncle, Dad’s older brother. I was elated!
The day after Thanksgiving my cousin and I were driven by my uncle to the movies to see The Sound of Music. Afterward my uncle arrived to pick us up followed by my folks in their car. I couldn’t figure out why but got into my uncle’s car with my cousin to return to Grandma’s.
All of a sudden my uncle pulled off the road and swore as he got out of the car. I looked back and saw my Dad absolutely pummeling my Mom’s head in the headlights of oncoming cars. He was drunk.
My uncle had seen it, pulled over, got my Mom into his car with us and got us home safely. Dear old Dad made it too.
The next morning Dad’s face was scratched all to hell. Mom did that in self defense.
Upon reflection there were many incidents like this. Mom stuck it out. My brother committed suicide. I made it.
But tonight, The Sound of Music had me hyperventilating, crying and freaked out. I realized that I haven’t seen it since then.
I’m sixty seven. No words. Just none.